Cultrface – a blog dedicated to culture and how it enriches our lives.

We nearly got a skateboarding version of Space Jam called 'Skate Jam'

Back in 2019, Tony Hawk tweeted about the time he met with Warner Brothers about a project idea:

in 2003, I was requested to meet with Warner Brothers about doing a film tentatively titled “Skate Jam.” They were bringing back Looney Tunes with “Back In Action” & then wanted to start on my project immediately. A week later Back In Action bombed & Skate Jam was shelved forever

Tweet link

A week? Corporations are something else. It might have been for the best given how notorious WB are with creative control (I’m looking at you, Blade Runner and the 90’s Batman franchise). But a Tony Hawk/Looney Tunes collab with the likes of Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny doing 720s and ollies? I’d have been down.

(via SB Nation)

Myles Loftin's 'HOODED' project seeks to humanise Black boys and men in hoodies

Gigantic Magazine featured Myles Loftin’s ‘HOODED’ project back in 2020:

Society’s negative view of Black males needs to be erased because it’s extremely harmful and divisive. It contributes to the reason Black males are targeted more by police, why we receive longer jail sentences than our white counterparts, and the discrimination that we receive. This project seeks to understand where these negative portrayals come from, and how we can change them for a better future.

Also, by reversing the portrayals of Black and white males, this project seeks to understand how the perception of both changes depending on how they are depicted.

The wildly different original draft for Batman Returns

Batman Returns recently celebrated its 30th anniversary and on my quest for “new” info on my favourite movie, I found this article on Sam Hamm’s original draft. It’s… different lol

The first villain we meet is Mr. Boniface, introduced inside a prison cell, surrounded by birds. He’s “beak-nosed, epicene, and so fat that it seems his skin should burst.” He also employs an arsenal of trick umbrellas, yet is adamant no one refer to him as his nickname, the Penguin. (“Epicene” means androgynous or asexual, by the way, leading me to wonder how Hamm envisioned Penguin.) The notorious thief bribes his way out of prison and immediately sets out on his next scheme.

He enlists the aid of Selina Kyle, described as “exotic, with vaguely Eurasian features,” and later “dark and elegant, fine-boned, regal of bearing.” Selina works as Curator of Antiquities for a local museum, hiding her double life as a jewel thief with a bondage fetish. Her Catwoman outfit is explicitly described as “a bondage mask…studded, with openings for the eyes and mouth, (with) one incongruous touch; a pair of pointed cat ears.”

Vicki Vale was also still around. Something I did know was Dick Grayson was around and stayed in subsequent drafts until he was taken out altogether. I dunno if I’d trade Hamm’s screenplay for the final cut but I’d love to have seen the original on screen.

More on Batman Returns: The making of Batman Returns, Did Danny DeVito eat a real fish in Batman Returns?, and An ‘Honest Trailer’ for Batman Returns

My all-time favourite dad joke

My dad used to tell this and I used to think he made it up. Alas, he didn’t (although I have no idea who did). Regardless, it remains the funniest dad joke I’ve ever heard and my dad tells it the best:

Son: “Dad, there’s a man at the door with a bald head!”

Dad: “Tell him I’ve already got one, son!”

Moose Milk: the Canadian military cocktail

I must stress: this has nothing to do with moose cheese made from real moose milk. This is Moose Milk, a cocktail made from liquor, cream, and egg yolks beaten with sugar, as described by Gastro Obscura:

While the Canadian military lays claim to the invention of the cocktail, which division made it first is uncertain. The navy, army, and air force each make their own versions, all hearty concoctions using a diverse array of liquor options (soldiers often used whatever was on hand, but it’s best to stay in the realm of whiskey, rum, and vodka). In an interview with Imbibe magazine, Michael Boire, a retired Canadian army major who first tried Moose Milk while serving in the Royal Highland Regiment, called the stuff “high-propulsion eggnog,” noting that, “everybody in uniform has tasted it at one time or another.”

Here are the ingredients GO used:

  • 1 cup cold coffee (8oz)
  • 1 cup half & half
  • 1.5 cups good vanilla ice cream
  • ¼ cup (2 fl oz) rum, whiskey, and/or vodka*
  • 2 tablespoons (1 fl oz) Kahlua
  • Nutmeg or dark chocolate shavings, to garnish

*Apparently, to make it like the Canadian military, you need to double the amount of alcohol.

Cocktail related: a Christmas tree in a cocktail, Mountain Dew-flavoured cocktails, punches, and shooters, and an original clarified milk punch

The art of Kenneth Harris

Kenneth Harris is a Jamaican artist based in Florida, USA. His artwork depicts landscapes and portraits of Jamaica and its residents.

As a self taught artist I paint anything that inspires the eye and imagination, but I have been focusing mostly on tropical scenes. The ocean, sky and tropical landscape are never ending sources of great inspiration and pleasure to me, symbolizing the eternal yet ever – changing aspect of the wonders of nature. Though I do not limit myself to just landscape scenes I constantly broaden my mastering of sea, sky and tropical landscape techniques, maintaining my Jamaican artistic touch. I have painted with water colour, pastel, acrylic and currently mastering oil.

via his portfolio

Check out his work on his portfolio website.

Yak cheese of the Eastern Himalayas

Jitaditya Narzary wrote an interesting piece on the Brokpas, the semi-nomadic yak herders of the Eastern Himalayas:

In Arunachal Pradesh (in Northeastern India) as well as neighboring Eastern Bhutan, the Brokpas spend summers trekking through high mountains in search of grazing pastures. (A similar community in Western Bhutan, the Bjops, does the same). The yaks provide milk, wool, and meat, but the Brokpas are best known for making yak cheese, which is a major component of local cuisine.

Historical accounts on the Brokpas are rare. In the book Assam Adventure, British botanist and adventurer F Kingdon Ward describes hiking to Tibet through these regions in the early 1900s and passing industrious yak herders. The Brokpa lifestyle has changed very little since then, but modern infrastructure and climate change are beginning to make this trade unsustainable, and their yak cheese increasingly rare.

Unlike pule, chhurpi (yak cheese) is much cheaper:

“One kilogram of chhurpi usually sells for anything between INR 400 to 600 ($5-$8) in the local markets,” [Sange] Norbu says.

More on cheese: moose cheese is creamy, rare, and expensive and Chiyo Shibata and her Japanese cheese

An interview with me

This is my 1,000th article on the site and I’m celebrating by interviewing myself.

What is your favourite city in the world?

Lisbon.

What’s the most unusual item you take everywhere you go?

D&D dice. I don’t play but they’re so cool.

Why do you do what you do?

Because I find it fascinating and by it, I mean the Web, tech, and music. They all make more sense to me than human beings but I appreciate the people who makes those disciplines better. I don’t appreciate those who make them worse.

Where do you go to relax?

YouTube, particularly videos of old TV commercials.

69, 280, or 420?

69.

How do you say goodbye in your culture(s)?

If I can get away with a French exit, I will. Otherwise, it’s “see you later” or a simple “bye”

Movies with 1% on Rotten Tomatoes

If you want to find the movies with 0% ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, you can go to the website, select Rotten in the Tomatometer and sort by Tomatometer (Lowest). Spoiler alert: there are loads as of this month (June 2022).

But what about movies with 1%? The reason I even bothered to look was because someone found the site using the search term ‘movies with 1 on rotten tomatoes‘ (it’s my DIY version of keyword research) and I was also curious. The problem is there are so many 0% rated films that it takes a lot of Load More button clicks to find the 1 percent-ers. And you’d be surprised to hear… there aren’t a lot of them. Good for me as I don’t have to write so much.

So here they are: the films that Rotten Tomatoes has rated 1%, based on the Movies at Home list rather than Movies in Theaters. (I may add periodic updates every so often.)

Alone in the Dark (2005) (Letterboxd)

  • Genre: Horror/Adventure
  • Director: Uwe Boll
  • Tomatometer rating: 1% (from 123 reviews)
  • Critics consensus: ‘Inept on almost every level, Alone in the Dark may not work as a thriller, but it’s good for some head-slapping, incredulous laughter.’

Daddy Day Camp (2007) (Amazon) (Letterboxd)

  • Genre: Comedy
  • Director: Fred Savage
  • Tomatometer rating: 1% (from 81 reviews)
  • Critics consensus: ‘A mirthless, fairly desperate family film, Daddy Day Camp relies too heavily on bodily functions for comedic effect, resulting in plenty of cheap gags but no laughs.’

Disaster Movie (2008) (Amazon) (Letterboxd)

  • Genre: Comedy
  • Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
  • Tomatometer rating: 1% (from 74 reviews)
  • Critics consensus: ‘Returning to their seemingly bottomless well of flatulence humor, racial stereotypes, and stale pop culture gags, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have produced what is arguably their worst Movie yet.’

The Master of Disguise (2002) (Amazon) (Letterboxd)

  • Genre: Comedy
  • Director: Perry Andelin Blake
  • Tomatometer rating: 1% (from 104 reviews)
  • Critics consensus: ‘An ill-concieved attempt to utilize Dana Carvey’s talent for mimicry, The Master of Disguise is an irritating, witless farce weighted down by sophomoric gags.’

Related to bad movies: Regretflix – A Podcast For Patter on Panned Pictures

The Akhal-Teke: a Turkmen horse

I don’t know much about Turkmenistan besides its Gates of Hell until I found out about the Akhal-Teke, a rare Turkmen horse breed. Due to the country’s dry and hot climate and centuries of breeding, the Akhal-Teke has adapted to the environment, giving it qualities such as high endurance, hardiness and the ability to survive on minimal amounts of food and water.

Its ancestors are said to be the Nisean horse and often comes with a beautiful, shimmering coat, which can be any shade of gold or silver. Akhal-Teke are popular in racing, dressage, eventing and even as a working animal in Turkmenistan but they are also known for being good pets. The breed is intelligent and quick to learn, but can also be quick to spook. As a result, the Akhal-Teke is not a suitable mount for beginners or riders with a lack of experience.

Fun fact: an Akhal-Teke stallion named Absent who won the Grand Prix de Dressage at the 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome, and the bronze individual medal in Tokyo 4 years later, and gold at the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City.

But Absent isn’t the only famous Akhal-Teke in Turkmenistan. The nation’s former president, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, immortalised his favourite horse White Khan with a personal statue. His son—the new president—approved it a few weeks ago with the monument set to “increase the glory of the Akhal-Teke horses – the national pride of the Turkmen people”.

New Scientist on time

Since I read Joe Zadeh’s article about time and wrote about it here, I’ve been on the lookout for anything to broaden my mind on the subject. Then today, I saw that the latest issue of New Scientist was all about time which pointed me to the website which, lo and behold, had a roundup on its time-related articles.

They date back as far as 2011, with this piece on whether time will end and what it’d be like:

WILL time end? It is a disturbing prospect, more chilling even than the end of our universe, because in most of the ordinary scenarios of cosmic doom there remains the comforting possibility that a new universe might rise from the ashes of the old.

But if time itself can end, then we surely have no get-out clause. There will be no time for anything new to get started. That will be that.

It’s all quite doom and gloom, with an aptly abrupt ending. Anyone who will ever read this won’t likely see the end of time so it’s almost fear-mongering in a way and… a waste of time. But I guess it’s cool and interesting to understand from an acacdemic perspective (I mean, there are whole faculties that dedicate their research to space-time).