J. Wellington Wimpy, the patron saint of hamburglars

I saw this on Twitter today and thought it was hilarious and oddly poignant, from a modern political perspective.

In the panels, Popeye asks Rough House where J. Wellington Wimpy was to which RH replied “I ain’t seen him and I don’t want to see him—he hasn’t been around today.” Popeye calls Wimpy “arful” before showing pity for him, although RH didn’t share the sentiment:

Well, I don’t. Why, say—that fellow would commit a crime for a hamburger.

We then spot Wimpy taking out razor of some kind as he starts cutting through a barred window into a jail where incarcerated people are eating from a plate full of hamburgers. He sits down to their disbelief and says:

Ah, good evening, gentlemen. Pleasant weather, isnt it, we’re having?

Wimpy literally broke into jail, not to free the people incarcerated there, but to get some of his favourite delicacies, thus breaking the law that could have extended his voluntary visit. It reminded me of how we have the power to abolish jails or and attempt to dismantle the system behind it all but only show glimpses of that for moments that benefit us (i.e. how I’ve seen a lot of performative activism since last year’s BLM protests)

I’m probably reaching but so was Wimpy—behind bars, for another hamburger.

(via Popeye Otaku on Twitter)

The Cube Rule of food

Is a hot dog a sandwich? Xavier Woods doesn’t think so but New York State Department of Taxation and Finance does. And then the idea evolved into Twitter conversations and eventually, The Cube Rule of Food Identification:

identify any food purely by the location of structural starch

Compelling arguments are made for a variety of foods including pizza (toast), sushi (also toast), toast (which is actually a sandwich), and hot dogs (which are, apparently, tacos). The logic behind it all would make a philosopher weep with hunger but it’s very interesting to think about *hits blunt*

Volcano pizza is hot, hot, hot! #

An enterprising gentleman in Guatemala decided to put a fiery volcano to work for him, and bake his pizza.
It’s an idea that probably shouldn’t be copied, but it sure is adventurous, and if we’re to believe chef David Garcia, the intense heat of the (very active) Pacaya volcano lends the pizza a delicious flavor.

For more on pizzas and volcanos: La Soufrière’s eruption: before and after photos and sexy MFing pizza

How to make a Star Wars TIE Advanced grill

How to build a spacecraft shaped BBQ grill | Crafty Enigneer

Great stuff from Interesting Engineering:

Do you need a unique and interesting BBQ-come-fire-pit for your garden? Then this fantastic build is something you really need to see. 

But wait, there is more. This particular burner/BBQ just happens to also be in the shape of Darth Vader’s Tie Advanced from Star Wars! What is not to love?

This would go well with a Star Wars stormtrooper decanter filled with a beverage of your choice.

How is supermarket pesto so cheap?

How is Supermarket Pesto so Cheap when the Ingredients are so Expensive? | Food Unwrapped

I wasn’t aware of the costs of pesto ingredients but apparently they’re more expensive than the jarred foodstuff suggests. The Food Unwrapped team travelled to Italy to investigate why supermarket pesto is so cheap considering the price of the ingredients.

Spoiler alert: it’s not as shady as it might seem. They use cheaper ingredients so supermarket pesto doesn’t always have fresh basil, fresh pine nuts, etc. This won’t surprise many but it’s nice to see how it’s made I guess. And that bit where they were picking the basil by hand made my body hurt just watching them.

That time two white girls ate a Carolina Reaper

two girls tasting carolina reaper pepper hahah

Some background info:

In 2016, YouTuber Lizzy Wurst posted a video called WORLDS HOTTEST PEPPER CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG) – CAROLINA REAPER PEPPER – 2.2 MILLION SCOVILLE UNITS. It has over 20m views at the time of writing and features Lizzy with her friend Sabrina trying the Carolina Reaper challenge (related to but not the same as the One Chip Challenge that ProZD and LGR did.

The original video is around 4 minutes long as shows the natural and devastating effects of the pepper as it destroys both challengers, particularly Sabrina who did not cope well. But it’s the edited version that I saw first and the cuts make it even funnier.

Let’s do a quick analysis:

  1. Why the hell did they bring water?
  2. If you know it’s the hottest pepper in the world (still is, as of 2013), would you not know to take acidic drinks with you: milk, citrus juices, tomato juice if that’s your thing
  3. Why were they wearing gym gear?
  4. Did they plan to jog the heat off or namaste it away?
  5. My favourite line was: ‘I didn’t think it hurt that bad.’

I can’t feel sympathy for anyone who knowingly takes this challenge on and suffers the consequences. As my mother would say, ‘if you cannot hear, you must feel’.

A Japanese study classified fish-shaped soy sauce containers into species #

The fish-shaped soy sauce container

A Japanese entomologist has ventured from his area of expertise to delve into the taxonomy of these plastic fish and he has actually sorted them into distinct families and genera. You may wonder, why? Perhaps it is an ode to the humble soy sauce container, perhaps another outlet for a taxonomist to channel OCD, or perhaps just because.

The author of the book, Yoshihisa Sawada, is an expert in Japanese insect taxonomy and has worked at the Museum of Nature and Human Activities in Hyogo, having published several scientific papers in this field. He took his taxonomic expertise and applied it to an unlikely subject, seemingly below his expertise: plastic fish-shaped soy sauce bottles. He applies his same methodology and treats his subject with all the reverence and seriousness of an actual taxonomic study on living animals. The book was published in 2012 and, alas, is only available in Japanese. The rough translation of the title into English is “Soy sauce sea bream”. “Bream” refers to freshwater and marine fish from a variety of genera that are typically narrow and deep-bodied.

More on fish: Europe’s only fish tannery, did Danny DeVito eat a real fish in Batman Returns, and the vantafish that absorbs nearly all light.

(via Alex Cassidy on Twitter)

Burrito speedrun

Burrito speedrun in 13.97s by Arcus

Everything’s a speedrun now, including home food preparation. Above, Arcus made a burrito in under 14 seconds in his kitchen using:

  • Beans
  • Cheese
  • Sour cream
  • Tomatoes
  • Green Chilis
  • Lettuce
  • Hot Sauce

If that’s not comical enough, check out the comments illustrating the various quirks of real video game speedrunning. Perhaps this will look like a regular day of work in a Tex-Mex street food but maybe this will spawn more videos and better techniques.

Panther milk

panther milk

This Spanish delicacy (leche de pantera) originated from the Spanish Foreign Legion in the 1920s. Soldiers mixed any alcohol they had with condensed milk as a substitute for medicinal pain relief and then it became a fashionable drink in the 70s.

Ingredients

  • 5ml of grenadine (optional, for colour)
  • 35ml of rum or brandy
  • 35ml of gin
  • 35ml of condensed milk
  • 100ml of whole milk

Recipe

  1. Put everything in a cocktail shaker
  2. Shake (don’t stir) with ice
  3. Strain into a glass
  4. Lightly dust with cinnamon
  5. Transform into a panther
  6. Step 5 was a joke
  7. But seriously, drink responsibly

You can also buy your own Panther Milk.

TIL: you can eat banana peels

banana peel bacon

As a kid, I loved bananas to the point where Bananaman was one of my favourite superheroes. But I always knew that you shouldn’t eat the peels. Until today.

I saw this tweet (quote tweeted by Swiss Miss) and thought “banana peel bacon?! Surely not” but lo and behold, banana peels are edible:

While the thought of eating a banana peel may be hard for some to stomach, it’s a common ingredient in many cuisines around the world.

The peel of a banana makes up about 35% of the ripe fruit and is often discarded rather than consumed.

However, using the peel is a great way to reduce food waste while squeezing some extra vitamins and minerals into your diet.

In fact, banana peels are not only edible but also rich in several key nutrients, including potassium, dietary fiber, polyunsaturated fats, and essential amino acids.

(via Healthline)

You can’t talk about bananas and not mention potassium. It’s the law!

The Wobble Dog 9003i

I remember finding this on a day I wasn’t feeling too good and it gave me a much needed laugh.

The Wobble Dog 9003i is a hot dog sausage wobbling machine. That’s it. A peculiar contraption on the surface but watching the sausages wobble is hilarious. The phallic nature of it all adds to the childish naughtiness (or maybe that’s where the humour stems from.)

Whatever. Stream it below and laugh along at the wiggling wieners.

Wobble Dog 9003i Hot Dog Sausage Wobbling Machine - Just The Highlights

(via Kottke.org)

Emerald marine chocolate mint tart

Emerald marine chocolate mint tart

With all the continued controversy over recipe blog posts, their length, apps that stole content, and the reasons for seemingly irrelevant life stories attached to them, I’ve wondered if it’s worth blogging about recipes anymore.

Then I remembered the time I went to my grandparents house in 2004 in Jamaica. It was the first time I’d been back since I was a baby…

That was a joke btw; no tangents here!

Back to the matter at hand. Here’s how to make an emerald marine chocolate mint tart. It looks gorgeous and I can only assume it tastes it too.

As not to be a hypocrite, I won’t copy and paste the recipe so you’ll have to go to the YouTube page to find all the ingredients you’ll need. It’s “in the description below.”

チョコミントタルト〜エメラルドマリンとサンゴ礁〜 Chocolate mint tart

The enslaved man who taught Jack Daniel how to make whiskey #

Taken from the above linked article, published in 2016:

Every year, about 275,000 people tour the Jack Daniel’s distillery in Lynchburg, and as they stroll through its brick buildings nestled in a tree-shaded hollow, they hear a story like this: In the 1850s, when Daniel was a boy, he went to work for a preacher, grocer and distiller named Dan Call. The preacher was a busy man, and when he saw promise in young Jack, he taught him how to run his whiskey still — and the rest is history.

This year is the 150th (sic) anniversary of Jack Daniel’s, and the distillery, home to one of the world’s best-selling whiskeys, is using the occasion to tell a different, more complicated tale. Daniel, the company now says, didn’t learn distilling from Dan Call, but from a man named Nearis Green, one of Call’s slaves.

See also: the history of mint julep and black bartenders and a very brief history of Jamaican rum

(via TWBE)

It's vichyssoise, sir. It's supposed to be cold.

vichyssoise

When you think of cold soup, your mind immediately goes to gazpacho, a Spanish soup comprised of stale bread, olive oil, vinegar, garlic, tomato, and cucumber. But fans of Batman Returns will think of another kind: vichyssoise.

In the famous scene with Bruce and Alfred, the butler hands Bruce the bowl of creamy soup to which he spits it out—”it’s cold!” And the immortal line:

It’s vichyssoise, sir. It’s supposed to be cold.

I didn’t understand the concept of cold soup as a kid and I still wouldn’t try it but the backstory of vichyssoise gives an indication of why it’s a thing.

Vichyssoise is a potato and leek soup created in 1917 by French chef Louis Diat of the Ritz-Carlton. He made it cold for restaurant guests to keep cool during the summer (which is ironic as the winter of 1917 in New York produced the temperature recorded in the city: 2°F or −17°C on 30 December 1917 at Central Park).

Given the fact that Batman Returns has a 1920s/1930s vibe to it and Bruce is a billionaire who you wouldn’t expect to get a drive-thru burger (which is funny because Michael Keaton later played former McDonald’s owner Ray Kroc in The Founder), vichyssoise seems like a logical choice.

In terms of recipes, this one from Simply Recipes looks like a good one as well as Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Vichyssoise recipe. Or if you’re desperate for something quick and maybe hot during the winter, you can get a can of potato and leek soup and add any extras you feel it needs.

Batman Returns and soup related: a Turkish hangover cure made from tripe, Hungarian dishes and recipes, and did Danny DeVito eat a real fish in Batman Returns.