I’ve never seen anything so tight.
Get ready for 5 minutes of belly laughing (and flashbacks if you’ve ever worked in retail or customer service). Scott Seiss is a writer and comedian who took to TikTok to make these grouchy retail meme videos. He is tired of your mess and is ready to tell you about yourself.
You’ll never guess what prize Sinbad lands on!!!
McSweeney’s, at their irreverent best, posted some excerpts from “The 48 Laws of Power for Cats”:
Law 3: Conceal Your Intentions
For humans, this simply means hiding your intentions from other humans, which they seem to do quite frequently. As a cat, you need to go further and conceal your intentions from all living things, including yourself. To truly master this Law, you must have no idea what you intend to do. You must be able to suddenly bolt out of a room at full speed for reasons that nobody, even you, can fathom. Let go of purpose and meaning. Embrace the chaos. Discernable intentions are for lesser creatures, like dogs and social media influencers.
Law 6: Create an Air of Mystery
For humans, this probably means stupid and petty stuff like using a pseudonym, starting rumors about yourself, or changing your style dramatically and abruptly. You, a cat, are already poorly understood by your human housemates, so you must be extreme to achieve real mystery. For example, every now and again, try staring into the empty upper corner of a room for hours. You will become an enigma, an unsolvable cipher. They will talk about this for years, always trying to determine why you did it. Only you will know the truth.
Cat literature-related: Pussy and Her Language – A Pamphlet For Cats
Peter Sellers was a classic character actor but this took it a step further. In 1965, on an episode of a Beatles-tribute variety show called The Music of Lennon and McCartney, Sellers did a rendition of ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ in the style of Laurence Olivier’s Richard III.
Watch Olivier’s original performance for a comparison of this meta-acting delight.
If the writing and acting are still as good as this, the return of Frasier is sure to be a hit (for me at least).
Here, Frasier is trying to get some sleep but external forces (Eddie and Niles’s starter’s pistol) are getting in his way. My favourite line has to be this:
Niles: And there’s no need to get snippy; accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh I’m sorry, was I snippy? I didn’t realize it was too much to ask that there not be GUNPLAY IN MY LIVING ROOM!
No one does acerbic wit and sarcasm quite like Frasier Crane.
There is/was(?) something so intriguing about DDL’s acting, allowing for some very funny parodies. This one imagines Daniel Day-Lewis as a frustrating roommate, involving his portrayals of:
- Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood
- William “Bill the Butcher” Cutting in Gangs of New York
- President Lincoln in Lincoln
Goddamn it, Daniel Day-Lewis.
We stayed wide for this entire scene so we could avoid drawing too much of the audience’s attention to Daniel’s lifeless embodiment of his character.
And if you want to read a serious review of the movie, check out Cultrface fave Dom Griffin’s for Baltimore Beat.
Have we learned nothing from the tragic events of 1998, when, under the watch of President Morgan Freeman, this nation was plunged into chaos, and hundreds of millions of people died at the hands of the deadly Wolf-Beiderman space rock? The mere fact that this country is even considering putting another black man, Barack Obama, in the Oval Office proves that we have not.
Like Pharaoh Khufu, I have built a great tomb. But, tonight, I’m not gonna bury you in it with me. Except with the admittedly generous mounds of peanuts that you’ll see I’ve provided. No, tonight I just want to say that this book is a disaster! It’s a travesty! It’s proof of a broken promise.
Buy a copy today (unless you’re a pathetic worthless punk).
At the end of last year, I discovered PushingUpRoses, a content creator who makes comedic introspective videos about various media including Murder, She Wrote, Golden Girls, Goosebumps, and the odd Let’s Play and retro PC game analysis. It gave me a lot of needed laughs and made me appreciate Murder, She Wrote all over again.
Taken from The Simpsons episode, “Bart’s Inner Child” (S05E07)
This short clip distills everything I love about The Simpsons:
- Simple one-liners (“There’s no trick to it, it’s just a simple trick!”)
- Comedic timing and spot-on satirical observations (“And as soon as you’re not human being, you’re a human doing. Then what comes next?” “A human going!”)
- Off-ball silliness (Bart pretending to be called “Rudiger”)
- Albert Brooks guest appearances
I remember finding this on a day I wasn’t feeling too good and it gave me a much needed laugh.
The Wobble Dog 9003i is a hot dog sausage wobbling machine. That’s it. A peculiar contraption on the surface but watching the sausages wobble is hilarious. The phallic nature of it all adds to the childish naughtiness (or maybe that’s where the humour stems from.)
Whatever. Stream it below and laugh along at the wiggling wieners.
I found this series last year via a scene from an actor’s showreel on YouTube and it offered some comfort during Lockdown 1.0.
Hug It Out tells the story of Gwen, a recent divorcee from LA who restarts her life as a professional snuggler (someone who is paid to cuddle or snuggle). Cue all kinds of awkwardness, inappropriate exposure, emotions, and swearing from a host of characters.
Kincaid Walker executive produced the web series and stars as Gwen alongside Jason Eksuzian who directed.
Hug It Out isn’t relatable on the surface—I neither have the money nor the necessity to hire a snuggler, in or out of a pandemic—but the subtext resonated with me a little. Having to start again after a relationship break up and not knowing where to go or how to navigate your new life is difficult and Gwen’s character had her fair share of mishaps throughout the series. But she grew into her new job and gained some confidence back for herself, expertly shown in one episode where she confronts an old friend who she’d fallen out with after Gwen’s marriage and subsequent breakup.
All 6 episodes are streamable on Vimeo or you can watch them via the Hug It Out website. And there’s a special COVID-19 short which answers the question “how the hell does a professional snuggler survive during a pandemic that dictates social distancing?” In case you were wondering.