Do We Really Want Another Black President After The Events Of Deep Impact? #

Have we learned nothing from the tragic events of 1998, when, under the watch of President Morgan Freeman, this nation was plunged into chaos, and hundreds of millions of people died at the hands of the deadly Wolf-Beiderman space rock? The mere fact that this country is even considering putting another black man, Barack Obama, in the Oval Office proves that we have not.

The Cube Rule of food

Is a hot dog a sandwich? Xavier Woods doesn’t think so but New York State Department of Taxation and Finance does. And then the idea evolved into Twitter conversations and eventually, The Cube Rule of Food Identification:

identify any food purely by the location of structural starch

Compelling arguments are made for a variety of foods including pizza (toast), sushi (also toast), toast (which is actually a sandwich), and hot dogs (which are, apparently, tacos). The logic behind it all would make a philosopher weep with hunger but it’s very interesting to think about *hits blunt*

That time two white girls ate a Carolina Reaper

two girls tasting carolina reaper pepper hahah

Some background info:

In 2016, YouTuber Lizzy Wurst posted a video called WORLDS HOTTEST PEPPER CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG) – CAROLINA REAPER PEPPER – 2.2 MILLION SCOVILLE UNITS. It has over 20m views at the time of writing and features Lizzy with her friend Sabrina trying the Carolina Reaper challenge (related to but not the same as the One Chip Challenge that ProZD and LGR did.

The original video is around 4 minutes long as shows the natural and devastating effects of the pepper as it destroys both challengers, particularly Sabrina who did not cope well. But it’s the edited version that I saw first and the cuts make it even funnier.

Let’s do a quick analysis:

  1. Why the hell did they bring water?
  2. If you know it’s the hottest pepper in the world (still is, as of 2013), would you not know to take acidic drinks with you: milk, citrus juices, tomato juice if that’s your thing
  3. Why were they wearing gym gear?
  4. Did they plan to jog the heat off or namaste it away?
  5. My favourite line was: ‘I didn’t think it hurt that bad.’

I can’t feel sympathy for anyone who knowingly takes this challenge on and suffers the consequences. As my mother would say, ‘if you cannot hear, you must feel’.

A supercut of Murder, She Wrote jokes by PushingUpRoses

Hilarious Murder, She Wrote Supercut - My Favorite Jokes, Moments, and More!

At the end of last year, I discovered PushingUpRoses, a content creator who makes comedic introspective videos about various media including Murder, She Wrote, Golden Girls, Goosebumps, and the odd Let’s Play and retro PC game analysis. It gave me a lot of needed laughs and made me appreciate Murder, She Wrote all over again.

In the above video, PushingUpRoses made a supercut of jokes and moments from her series, That Time on Murder, She Wrote and it’s so funny. Subscribe to her channel and check out her Patreon too.

Burrito speedrun

Burrito speedrun in 13.97s by Arcus

Everything’s a speedrun now, including home food preparation. Above, Arcus made a burrito in under 14 seconds in his kitchen using:

  • Beans
  • Cheese
  • Sour cream
  • Tomatoes
  • Green Chilis
  • Lettuce
  • Hot Sauce

If that’s not comical enough, check out the comments illustrating the various quirks of real video game speedrunning. Perhaps this will look like a regular day of work in a Tex-Mex street food but maybe this will spawn more videos and better techniques.

36,336 versions of the 'I know a place' meme #

Remember the X be like ‘I know a place’ and take you to a Y meme? Well, Darius Kazemi decided to create over 36,000 variations of it using ConceptNet, a semantic network designed to help computers understand the meanings of words.

As Darius says, there is probably some bad stuff in here but that just adds to the charm.

One of my favourites:

180 degrees be like ‘i know a place’ and take you to the corner

Genius.

Meme related: Conflict in Literature with Daffy Duck and the opposite of ASMR.

Steamed Hams but its an oral history #

Originally called “Chalmers vs. Skinner,” the two-minute-and-48-second piece was part of an unusual episode of The Simpsons that aired during the show’s seventh season, on April 14, 1996. While most episodes of The Simpsons focus on the show’s titular family, “22 Short Films About Springfield” was different, as it was broken up into a series of short segments focusing on Springfield’s supporting characters. “Steamed Hams” — as “Chalmers vs. Skinner” would later come to be known — was simply one of those segments. 

See also: Steamed Hams but there’s a different animator every 13 seconds, in the style of Seinfeld, and in the style of Dragonball Z.

A Weird AF RoboCop Video Collage

Back in August 2020, I posted RELAXATION TAPE NO. 2: the opposite of ASMR, a collection of random video mashup/collage/clusterfucks made by CDTcrew. Before I found that, I got into one of their shorter videos called ROBO.

It’s an absolute mess. And I love it.

Imagine RoboCop condensed into 102 seconds with no care for editing or how your eyes and ears will feel after it’s finished. But I still love it. The video takes clips from the film, behind-the-scenes interviews, the video game, and random commercials. It’s also way more violent than the film appears to be, which is quite an achievement.

As I suggested in the RELAXATION TAPE article, I don’t expect anyone to enjoy this but I do so join in if you wanna.

Conflict in Literature (with Daffy Duck)

Twitter is a dumpster fire but sometimes it can provide humour and escapism.

Conflict in Literature is a meme that started as a comic in 2014:

On May 22nd, 2014, Grant Snider of Incidental Comics published a comic entitled “Conflicts in Literature.” In the comic, stick figures act out the classic conflict scenarios present in narrative art, such as “man vs. nature” and “man vs. technology,” as well as the movement in literature (“modernism,” “post-modernism,” etc.)

From there, a series of unique versions were made including one starring Daffy Duck. The original creator, Instagram user @rad_shiba, posted it on their page but has since been taken down.

I like the concept but adding Daffy Duck to each one is a masterstroke. I wonder what a Nancy version would look like.

(via @johnarmenta)

RELAXATION TAPE NO. 2: the opposite of ASMR

RELAXATION TAPE NO. 2

(Content warning: the video content in this article contains violent and flashing images not suitable for people with photosensitive epilepsy or related conditions)

As much as I love ASMR, I like off-kilter zany stuff on the Internet. I spent most of my late teens getting into YouTube Poops and YTMND memes. The reason I use ASMR in this context is that it serves as a good analogue for what I’m about to show you. It’s truly the opposite of ASMR: it’s chaotic, nonsensical, loud, brash, and everything ASMR isn’t.

RELAXATION TAPE NO. 2 (R-rated cut)

A new video mixtape from the CDTcrew; naughty bits removed. Uncut DVD will be available at some point. Meanwhile--enjoy and remember to relax! And YouTube--this is for adults only and is for entertainment purposes only…relax.

RELAXATION TAPE NO. 2 is a collection of videos made by CDTcrew and I have no idea what to call them. But I find them funny for their chaos and randomness. Clips appear to have been recorded on VHS, old or new, with echoey vocals and all kinds of video effects. It’s also violent and garish but in a cinematic sense. There’s punching, blood, explosions, shouting, screaming, and Warner Bros cartoons. And this is with the “naughty bits removed”.

One YouTube commenter had it right:

this is like the video version of grind-core.

I’ve never listened to grindcore but, given the sound of the name, it fits whatever style of videography RELAXATION TAPE NO. 2 is. This won’t be to everyone’s tastes and that’s totally acceptable—I don’t even know why it’s close to any of my tastes—but it appears to have a fan base if the comment section is anything to go by.

Enjoy! Or not. Probably not.

Do you dance when Law & Order SVU comes on?

Law & Order SVU

Mike Post went hard in the studio when he composed the Law & Order: SVU theme tune and I’m grateful. The multi-award-winning composer created theme songs for hit series such as The A-Team, NYPD Blue, Quantum Leap, and Magnum, P.I. But did he envisage people dancing to it?

What is Law & Order SVU?

For those who haven’t seen it, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (shortened to SVU) is a spin-off of the police drama series Law & Order, which focuses on sex crimes in New York. Although most of the original cast has left since is started in 1999 (including Christopher Meloni), Mariska Hargitay, who plays Captain Olivia Benson, is still there.

Especially heinous dancing

There are lots of YouTube videos featuring dancers make their own SVU dance routines including Allison Bedell, Kelly Stamps, and some random folks off the street in New York City but this compilation (below) is my favourite.

When Law & Order SVU comes on 😤🔥

It’s a showcase of dancing memes and the accuracy is fantastic. I tend to play the instruments for the SVU theme tune but this video got me dancing ever since I saw it.

Do you have a dance? Let us know in the comments.

Meet Gav – the huge TikTok baby

Meet Gav – the huge TikTok baby

I’m still not on TikTok and still have no interest in joining. But after the awesome dancing duck TikTok, there’s a new kid on the block. Literally:

@kat.027

##gav ##boom ##babypowder

♬ Woah – KRYPTO9095 feat. D3Mstreet

Gav isn’t actually a baby – he’s 3 apparently – but even then, he’s huge. In the above video, Gav is bouncing on his dad’s stomach like he’s a bucking bronco. And that’s baby powder by the way, although pretending it’s smoke adds to the hilarity.

Then there’s Gav doing his best World’s Strongest Baby impression or Gav taking a sugar snooze after devouring candy and eggs for Easter. But the comments make it for me. Check this Twitter thread as an example. My favourite:

You can follow @kat.027 on TikTok for more of Gav’s big buff baby escapades.