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What did Werner Herzog think of the best films in 2021?

Comedy writer Phil Gillen wrote reviews of 2021’s best films in the style of Werner Herzog.

Films include Jungle Cruise:

Ah, the ubermensch. His enormity cannot be contained by his world. By his boat. By his shirt. And so he rules over all of us. 5/10

Mortal Kombat:

This film claims to be violent. Have you ever seen a Television commercial for Oscar Mayer Weiners? That is true violence. 2/10

Old:

I have never liked beaches for this very reason. 3/10

And F9: The Fast Saga:

You think that these automobiles are fast, yes? I will show you something faster. Go to your bathroom and look in the mirror. Then turn away. Now look back at your reflection. In but a moment, you have aged. Nothing is faster and more vicious than the inexorable march of time. 1/10

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