A comprehensive guide to bees and wasps aka “Yellow Stripey Things”

a comprehensive guide to Yellow Stripey Things Honeybee - is the bee that needs help the most - excellent pollenator - very friendly - can only sting once Yellow Jacket - wants your food and will fight you for it - never leaves you alone - will sting you just for the hell of it - is just an asshole Bumblebee - also pollenates stuff very well - so fat it shouldn't be able to fly - will let you pet it without getting agitated - actually a flying panda Cicada Killer - looks like Satan's nightmares - exclusively eats cicadas - can sting you, but usually won't - still pretty terrifying Carpenter Bee - acts like it's hot shit but can't actually hurt you - has no concept of what glass is - lives in your fence - flies aggressively to try and scare you away Paper Wasp - looks scary, but will only attack if provoked - sting hurts like hell - will chase you if you swat at it - has no concept of personal space Hoverfly - wears yellow stripey uniform to scare you - actually can't do anything to you - hangs out in fields - follows you if it likes you Dirt Dauber - almost never stings anything except spiders - builds nest in the ground - hoards spiders in said nest - coolest looking of the wasps

I found this on kottke.org via Reddit and thought it was funny. Kottke also did a more scientific analysis of the Hymenoptera species.

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